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So, I'm sitting here going through transcripts of episodes of "Sabrina the Teenage Witch". Why in the heck am I doing that? Soleil Moon Frye, of course. It sure as heck ain't gonna be for Melissa Joan Hart, or to see the ten thousand different ways magic gets you into trouble. I want my fix of former Punky Brewster, dangit. And to steal a line from said 80s show, the fact that she's incredibly beautiful has nothing to do with it. One thing you quickly notice, though, is that the room mates have this strange tendency to disappear as you go from episode to episode. Roxie will be there about once every other episode. Morgan comes and goes completely at random. Even Miles drops off the planet once in a while, showing us the incredible care put into choosing an ensemble cast for a good showcase of talent. OK, Soleil actually has a real-life excuse here, as her IMdb profile puts her as making two movies around this time, which you'd imagine would put a small dent into your time. I can say I am cool with that. Initially, the producers didn't really bother to explain the absences. She just didn't show up in some episodes, and that was that. After a while, though, people started to notice, and the writers on one episode decided to explain things a bit, even if just for their episode. Did they do a good job of it? Does the fact that I'm writing a column about it tell you anything? Here's the line in question: "Miles- [about telling friends about Josh's art exhibit] You already know and Roxie’s out of town at her family reunion. That was easy." Oh, OK. Roxie's at a family reunion. There, that ties up the loose ends on that. Oh, wait, NO IT DOESN'T. It's a sign of truly lazy plotting that I can find a glaring mistake in the wee hours of the morning, from a transcript, in all of half a line. Bravo. Let's review the episode that aired before this, shall we? It was the Season Five Christmas special. Aside from the main plot, we also got to see Roxie pull a Fonzie and go to some great lengths to conceal that she was going to hide out in her dorm all Christmas because her family sucks. She gets discovered by Hilda, and spends a idealic Christmas with the aunts. Heartwarming. What does that have to do with anything? Well, we have here a woman who was willing to spend Christmas utterly alone rather than spend time with her family. That's interesting, then, how she's willing to spend the weekend with them for the reunion in the very next episode. Brilliant one on the writer's part. Completely seamless. You idiots. - Jimmy Vibes |
